


I Hope I Never Lose You

by glindasoreo



Series: Hatchetfield But Make It Swift [2]
Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:13:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23555125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glindasoreo/pseuds/glindasoreo
Summary: Emma is awake at night thinking about how in love she is with Paul and is afraid of the idea of having to fall in love with someone else.It's happy I swear.Title based on Cornelia Street by Taylor Swift
Relationships: Paul Matthews/Emma Perkins
Series: Hatchetfield But Make It Swift [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1736365
Kudos: 34





	I Hope I Never Lose You

**Author's Note:**

> I never do song fics but I was bopping to lover and this popped into my head. I might do more of these bc I found it fun!

It was 2 in the morning. Emma was lying awake watching the shadows from outside on the ceiling and listening to Paul's soft snoring next to her. She couldn't sleep that night. This was unusual for Emma because she slept better after she and Paul moved in together. Maybe it was the calming fact that she finally felt like she belonged somewhere, maybe it was Paul that helped her sleep, maybe it was both. All she knew was that both of those things were plaguing her mind. 

Things with Paul were good. They had been together for about a year and had lived together for about half a year. Things were good. Except when she was afraid of her own feelings. There were times where she felt that Paul was too good for her. Of course, Paul never thought that Emma was so used to people leaving her. It got to the point where her motto was "leave before you get left" and she did leave once, or at least she tried.

One night while Paul was asleep she was awake just like she was currently. She got up, gathered her things, closed the door behind her, and got into her car. She was about 5 minutes away before she turned around and went back. She crawled back into bed next to him. Paul never knew.

This night was different. Emma was lying in bed realizing that this was it for her. She had found happiness in the form of a lanky office worker who is somehow able to burn and undercook pancakes at the same time. She couldn't even imagine having to experience this again. She didn't want to imagine it. But the voice inside her head was reminding her of all the times that she had been left and that it could happen again. Her eyes filled up with tears. Not wanting to risk waking him up, Emma threw the blankets off of her and left the room. She flew down the stairs, stopping in the kitchen. She grabbed a glass of water, chugging it in hopes that it would calm her.

She slid down the cold refrigerator and hugged her knees into her chest once she reached the floor. She folded her head into her knees and let the tears fall. This was the happiest she had been in a very long time and yet she was scared she could lose it all. She didn't know how long she was in the kitchen until she heard the stairs creaking.

"Emma?" Paul asked stepping into the kitchen. He saw her sitting against the fridge, wrapped up in herself. He rushed over and sat across from her. "Are you okay?"

Emma looked at him, her eyes stung from trying to hold back tears, "I love you."

Paul let out a breath, "I love you too. What's wrong?"

Emma pulled his arm, signaling that she wanted him closer. He scooted around so that his back was against the fridge. "I've never felt like this before. I've trained myself to never feel like this. I'm not used to people sticking around without leaving. And I'm so scared I'm going to lose you." Paul opened his mouth to respond but Emma cut him off. "Don't say anything yet. I don't know if I can do this again. I don't know if I can fall in love again after this because if it's not you that I'm in love with, I don't want it. I put on this tough exterior because I'm so afraid of being left behind. It's just easier to act like I don't care but I do. I'm so scared that this could end tomorrow and I would never recover. I love you more than anything and I can't lose you. I just can't."

Paul processed what she just told him and wrapped his arm around her. She dug her face into his shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere. I don't want to lose you either. Em, this is it for me. I don't think I'd ever see an end for us. But please, don't feel like these feelings are one you need to hide from me. It's scary but I'm always here to listen."

Emma felt calmed by Paul's reassuring words. "I'm so sorry."

"Hey, don't be." He pressed a kiss to her temple and stroked her arm with his thumb. 

Emma exhaled, "So this is it?"

"This is it. I'm in it for the long haul."

A small smile cracked across her face. "What comes next?"

"We'll get there. Do you want to go back to bed?"

"Can we stay here a little while longer? I find it peaceful." Paul nodded. They sat in the kitchen in silence, Emma's head tucked under his chin. Their breathing syncing up. After 15 minutes Paul noticed that Emma had fallen to sleep. 

Scooping her up into his arms, Paul carried her back to their bedroom. Gently putting her back into bed so that he wouldn't wake her. He fell asleep soon after her. Emma slept with a smile on her face knowing that she was happy and that nobody was going anywhere.


End file.
